I miss my mom. I haven’t seen her since July 2019. due to the pandemic and China’s crazy restrictions, we couldn’t visit her and I was afraid of having her in Manila given the number of cases. I made monthly goal of calling her more often but I failed most of the time. With the passing and sickness of my friends, I miss her even more and feel time is passing through my hands like sand, unable to grasp it, feeling missing her while she’s still in this world. It feels like a time bomb is ticking, she’ll turn 72 soon. How many more years and days will she be with us? 10 years? 20 years? how many days of those years can we share a meal, a vacation, a casual chat. Girls miss her terribly too. They’ve grown so much and my heart aches realizing grandma is not witnessing their growth.
I’ve been contemplating the idea of having her here with us for a while. I want her here but I don’t want her to pause her life in China. I’d only want her to be here because she wants it too, not because I want her. So, yesterday I tentatively asked her if she wants to spend the last few months with us here in Manila before we move to Jakarta. She first thought that she’d better just go to Jakarta when we move, but that seems a long time to me. Then I told her that we’re going to Germany in September and would be great if she goes with us, a la Kae. She hesitated and said that that’s a long time for her to be in Manila alone while the kids go to school and I go to work. Well… I told her summer break has already started!!! She SAID YES!!! Not only she agreed to come (after we sort out the visa situation), she texted me later saying that she’s already preparing for the trip (getting her meds in bulk, buying dresses for the girls, etc.). that means she’s excited too! I’m so HAPPY! When I told Lizzy, this is her face: pure happiness
after exciting news, I booked for El Nido in July!!! It’d be our third time visiting El Nido but I can’t think of a best location for our last trip in the Philippines. El Nido is paradise in my book. It will be a short trip but we are super excited already.