A special birthday and 43 realizations

I am emerging from the paradise. We are transiting back to Jakarta, unplanned over night stay at Sorong, and will finally get home this afternoon, although I can live here! 🙂

I will do a proper recap of our trip to Raja Ampat, the summary is the following: this is my favorite trip to date and I figured our elements of the perfect trip for me. More later.

Today I want to share my 43 realizations on my 43th birthday, which was a small and special celebration. I didn’t have anything planned as I was already super happy to spend my birthday in the paradise, but Lizzy made it special by asking the staff to make a cake, and the staff added the live singing and everyone from the resort crew to sing birthday song for me. Truly special.

43 realizations:

1. Appearance stops to matter as much just when it starts to deteriorates rapidly.

2. I’m becoming one of those people who would read work related topics books for leisure.

3. Marathon humbles me because of its uncertainty factor. No matter how much preparation goes into it, small detail can change the outcome.

4. I get blowed away more easily as becoming more curious and open minded.

5. I stopped exercising for the appearance. I exercise to be strong, especially modeling to my girls.

6. The best place for ideas to come is when on the move, either running, walking, swimming, trekking, snorkeling.

7. When I write without an aim, ideas come out of the surface. I should remember this and write more freely, to start and end the day.

8. I seek quality of daily joys. I can differentiate a good coffee vs. instant coffee. The ratio of milk to coffee matters more than I should care. The height of my chair, the firmness of my pillow, the angle I lie down when I read. I take pleasure of small details more than ever.

9. I feel fortunate to meet new friends, having the intimate connection, even if I know they’ll leave my life soon. People come and go, and I am learning to enjoy them while they are here.

10. I want to be alone, sometimes, preferably in a quiet place, semi-dark.

11. A good fiction is the one that makes my mind think of the characters when not reading, forming a visual of how they look like, and a bit sad when the story ends.

12. I enjoyed planning using Hobonichi techo as it helps me to feel organized, keep record of life tidbits, and remind me habits I want to keep building. I will continue the practice in 2024.

13. Trade off. When I read or listen to something, I am not reading or listening to something else, maybe even life changing. When I travel to a new place, I am not going home to visit families. I became more mindful of those trade offs.

14. Experience discomfort is the secret to enjoy more the comfort I already have.

15. Not everyday needs to be perfect. Not every run needs to be enjoyable. Not every snorkel needs be comfortable. And that’s okay. I stop hoping to feel the best in everything I do all the time.

16. The sticky air by the beach is annoying at the time but the guaranteed way to relax me, napping in between pages.

17. When I just thought I have a handle of parenting two girls, things are changing again. Sofia is turning to a teenager in a blink. Lizzy is still and may forever be my cutest baby.

18. 2023 is the year that I stopped paying attention to what I eat, or really care as long as it’s not processed/packaged food. After years of seeking the perfect diet, I realize that I do well when it’s mainly vegetable, some animal protein, and whole grain/root vegetables. Oatmeal is my comfort food. Vegetable stir fry with grain and tofu could be my meal every day. It’s freeing to finally find what works for me and stop being distracted by what’s fashionable. Outlive played a big role into this.

19. I’m getting more convinced about protein intake and weight lifting, mostly for longevity reasons.

20. I am prioritizing sleep above all self care practices. It’s the most important determinant of my energy and mood the following day.

21. I was distracted for few months, coincided with not reading. When I got back into trading, my mind became calmer and more focused.

22. I enjoy short trips. I like little bits of surprise, often.

23. Lying by the beach, listening to waves, reading a good book is paradise.

24. I’m afraid of losing another parent, yet, I need to keep reminding myself to call my mom.

25. I want to feel excited about my job more than getting a promotion. Unfortunately they go hand in hand.

26. Time is flying faster every year. I’m feeling it and afraid that I didn’t make the best of it.

27. I care about birthday cards more than gifts. I am fortunate to not wanting anything material but thoughtful words by my loved ones.

28. I enjoyed doing advent calendar for the girls this year. Nothing fancy but something they get surprised everyday, no matter how small.

29. Traveling with one kid is the best bounding experience. I really enjoyed bromo Ijen trip with Sofia.

30. I don’t want to run races alone anymore. I want to have a destination trip and race with the family. Even though logistically more challenging, I want to make it a memorable experience with someone I love.

31. I enjoy speed run for the first time in my life. Similar to weight lifting, it makes me feel strong.

32. I enjoying following the life of few bloggers. I probably know more about their daily life than my best friends and likewise. It’s fun and we care each other even if we haven’t met in person.

33. I learned what makes a perfect trip for me: nature, active, connection.

34. The most beautiful colors are from nature, under water.

35. If one wants to feel the magic, go to nature. Marine life made me feel awe with nature. The cycle of life. The unknown life of marine creatures and plants.

36. The first few days of getting to a new place feel out of place, relative to the familiarity, to the routine. Eventually one find new comfort and routine. Sometimes takes 24 hrs, others times few days, but almost certain I’ll find it.

37. The mind is incredible adaptive. What something seems aweful, unpleasant at first, with time and confidence, they become tolerable even enjoyable. This year, it was finding my running path in raja Ampat; snorkeling in deep water where I can’t see the bottom when chasing a sea turtle.

38. It’s liberating to not wanting something strongly, but rather keep open minded to embrace what will come. This applies to job this year.

39. It’s eye opening to meet people in trips whose life style is incomprehensible to me and fascinates me. This is the case when I met the owner of biodiversity. They love diving and built the resort, had two kids in the resort, lived there for 10 years before moved to Bali when the older kid started school.

40. It’s easy to judge people when you don’t know them. When you get to know them, their story, their choices make more sense.

41. In 2023, I enjoyed reading essays. Calypso and precious days. One made me smile, in a sad way. The other made me smile inside, warm and hopeful.

42. Destination birthday might be the best way to celebrate. No need to plan party nor special celebration. The trip is my celebration and gift.

43. Many times when I mediate, when I’m half napping on the trip, alone or with my husband, tell him or myself, we will look back in few years or decades and will say to each other, those were precious years.