Our options for the move

Journal 1 Minute

Tuesday was crazy busy at work, a lot of things to wrap up and an upcoming event that I am part of speaker. Yet, the most urgent task for me is to figure out when do we relocate. Here are the 4 options:

  1. Mid-march, the whole family, both girls in the same school. Ideal case.
  2. Mid-march, the whole family, girls split in two schools.
  3. Mid-march, I go alone while the family stays behind. I can travel 1-2 twice before our move in June. It will be crazy given the jet lag and time difference.
  4. Mid-march, I go alone and come back in June for the final move.

3 and 4 are not good options but they are not terrible. I will definitely miss the family if it’s #4, probably more than the girls missing me. I was sad just thinking about it but it’s really not too bad considering it will be less than 3 months. When I was 10 years old, I lived with my grandma for 2 years without seeing my parents and only talked to them over the phone once a week. I survived and don’t remember being super sad or lonely.

I try to accept #4 as a “good” option considering the big picture. Once the “worst” option is acceptable, we will be content with all 4 options.

What will determine which option we end up with? School vacancy and my current rental lease, whether I can find another tenant to take it over.

I know this is a good problem to have. I would happily take #4 a week ago before knowing I got the job. 🙂 So still good news! 🙂

Hope you are having a great thanksgiving! We are not celebrating here but feeling extremely grateful for what we have. Maybe I’ll roast a chicken and make sweet potato with marshmallow.

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Published by Coco

I have always loved traveling and travel often for work. But 2.5 years ago we moved to Manila and started to travel more for leisure. It was the start of our journey to explore the world and ourselves as a family. My daughters love traveling with passion and always want to go to new places, meet new people, try new food. This blog will record our journey in this new living style and my thoughts around it.

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9 thoughts on “Our options for the move”

  1. Moving with school kids is not easy, there’s so much more logistics involved.
    Where is your husband’s job based? Does he have to visit his head office at times?

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  4. 3 and 4 would be hard but less disruptive to the girls’ school schedules probably. Hopefully you can break your lease/find a person to take over your lease. When I was relocated, my company paid to break the lease so that was nice. But they had an aggressive timeline. I found out my job was moving in Jan, had 2 weeks decide and they wanted me to move in 2 months. I pushed back and moved in April rather than March but it was still a big change and that was just moving within the US (Minneapolis to Charlotte). You are dealing with someone way more complex with time zones, school schedules, etc. you’ll get through it though!

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  5. It sounds like it will work no matter what. There are pros and cons each way. If you have to do #4, it won’t be for too long. This is exciting! I can’t wait to hear more about it.

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  6. having made moves like this several times, i would say there is no option that is ‘all good’ and another that is ‘all bad’, and know that whatever decision you make, or circumstances make for you!, everything will be fine. It’s clear you guys are a strong family unit.

    That said in case you do end up in option #3 or #4, a few thoughts:

    • you mention this is a new job and a promotion. after 6 moves, my experience is that, for the working parent, the first months at a new duty station are always insanely hectic and ‘work heavy’ as one takes on the new job… i.e. figures out internal dynamics and the external partnership space, sorts out problems that are pending etc. then add the promotion. one advantage of going alone first would be the ability to really focus on work, without feeling the pull of coming home on time to family, for the first few super intense months (which i think is especially the case for women), and then by the time your family comes, being (more) settled in your job and being able to really focus on them…. Maybe thinking about the move in phases, ie. phase I before the family arrives is about prioritizing a smooth work transition for you (and preparing for the family’s arrival– ie. find housing, a helper, piano teacher, etc. all before they arrive), and phase II once they do arrive is prioritizing the family transition (and continuing with work of course!))
    • If you go early alone, any option of them coming to visit you, at least one of the times? I know the costs would be higher, but it would allow them to see where they will be moving to, and potentially if the new school allowed ‘join their classes’ for a week/a few days before the end of this school year to make some social connections for over the summer
    • Finally (sorry for the novel!) it looks like the school year in brasilia ends in early june. if the girls do move after that point in time, the summer could feel long and lonely as they will have not had the chance to meet the kids in their grade and make friends. One thing that could help is to sign them up for some summer programs in advance, maybe even through the school or based on suggestions from other parents in the school. If they don’t already speak portuguese, i would personally prioritize those lessons in the summer, as even in international schools I find there’s a lot of socializing that goes on in the local languages, as well as most non-school based activities (i find this different from asia where a lot is done in english outside of school, that is not often the case in south american/african countries). But take that with a grain of salt– I have never had Brasilia as a duty station before though (but we’ve often thought it would be an amazing one, so am jealous)

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    1. Thanks so much for sharing your thoughts, someone who went through many more times. I agree that settling alone may be good for the new job, so I’ll have to deal with loneliness if that’s the option we take.

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