Luteal phase struggle. While I am mindful of it happening, it still feels helpless to fight it off other than “surviving”, or that’s what I thought. That was my feeling on Tuesday morning.
Taking a step back, I realized that other things contributed to this negative feeling. The potluck I organized went well, more than 12 people joined with food enough to feed 30! Mostly Indonesia food.
I tried the steamed tofu, grilled chicken, lentil salad, noodles. I loved the chicken and the tofu and went back for more, and packed leftovers for the family to try.
Yet despite being a big group, I didn’t enjoy the connection part. Because it was a large group, so we didn’t have intimate conversations, which left me rather “empty”, if you know what I mean. I prefer intimate conversation with small groups, 3-4 people would be the ideal size.
This event coupled with few things that happened at work, non-running Monday, and the luteal phase (second/later part of it), contributed to feeling down.
Fortunately, on Tuesday I started my day with a good run, then facetime with my friend K, followed by 2.5 hrs. lunch with my manila friends that came for a workshop. The combination of these three things completely kicked me out of my luteal phase negativity.
I guess this experience taught me that I should keep running, schedule meetings/calls with close friends this time of the month. Maybe luteal phase could be avoided?
Do you notice your mood/energy level fluctuations over the cycle? What’s your strategy to deal with it if any?
Our New Journey 
That potluck looks delicious! I agree with you about the group size though, although I think I would make an exception when you are all in a car together. My group of running friends is six people and we became fast friends because we would often carpool to races together. This meant that even though I was not a group talker, there were enough people in the car who were and they would blab on and so maybe you did not get intimate with each other, but you were kind of forced to know certain things about people that way.
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WELL DONE on the potluck! I also don’t enjoy big gatherings but sometimes I have to get over myself and just do it. No, there are no intimate conversations but there may be other benefits: a big group energy, a feeling of joy over the fact that so many people were willing to come, a sense of belonging to a larger group of colleagues, people working for the same company, etc. I just went out with the whole school two weeks ago- and that’s what I thought I can take away. But I am only willing do do these maybe once or twice a month. No more than that.
Do you notice your mood/energy level fluctuations over the cycle? A big YES.
What’s your strategy to deal with it if any? Awareness is key being gentle with myself, giving myself grace, not comparing myself to other people, alone time, time for reflection.
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Well, that part of my life is done (and I don’t miss it!) The only thing I really had connected to my cycle was, the day before my period I would get weirdly depressed. If I wasn’t aware it was coming I would be vaguely wondering what was wrong with me- then the next day I would get my period and think “Oh, THAT’S why!”
I agree there are probably things you can do to combat it, and being aware of your other triggers sounds good. Glad you’re feeling a little better!
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I do love organizing events to bring large groups of people together, but I don’t actually enjoy the events themselves. Too many people and no one to really connect deeply with. But I like seeing everyone else have a good time, so it is worth it to me.
Your strategy of exercise and connection to people reminds me of the Yale Happiness Course (you can take it for free online- it’s actually called the Science of Well Being). The professor looked at what research said brought people the greatest sense of Well Being and the ‘homework” was to implement them. Exercise and connection are two things mentioned. After taking the course, I try to track the things mentioned in the class and make sure I incorporate them into my day/week/life. Other things are: Sleep, gratitude, savoring experiences, acts of kindness, meditation, acts of creativity. I feel like there are one or two others, but those are the ones I remember off the top of my head.
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I don’t mind big group events if there is an opportunity to connect with people in small groups. I used to get so intimidated by big gatherings but have gotten better about feeling confident at them and finding people to connect with. The food sounds so good, though!!
I haven’t been in tune with my cycle for awhile – I track it but haven’t noted if I feel differently during the luteal phase. I have more so been annoyed by the on and off bleeding that happens over like 10 days!
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Hoo boy, I’m in the thick of perimenopause and as soon as I feel terrible despair over life in general, I look at the calendar. Explanation!
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Big groups can be intimidating, I agree. I do much better in smaller settings myself.
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