One of the chapter makes the point that we shouldn’t aim to present ourselves as perfect. In fact, showing our messy side creates trust as we would only do that with our close family and friends. I fully agree!
My thinking goes one more step. Not only by we showing our messy side connects us better with others, showing our struggle and steps we take to get the outcome could be liberating for others seeking the same outcome.
I don’t like when I congratulate someone for their achievement (a promotion, a PR, raising good kids) and get a generic response as it was effortless. I appreciate when they share their struggles because we all do, all the time.
I debated about sharing my job hunting process in the blog, but decided that I want to remember this process of struggle and share with my blog friends this journey.
So I was back to the prep room for interview. My second interview is scheduled for next week. While my whole being feels tired before I even start, I know I need to put my head down and go through the motion. I managed to study for 2.5 hrs before calling it done. Then I had lunch with husband and went to office to deal with normal job tasks and got home 5:30pm, exhausted.
By 7:30, I was in my couch, kindle on hand but eyes closed. Sofia came and asked about my day. I told her what I did. She asked why do I need to prepare it again? I said because it’s a different job so I have to prepare specifically for that job. I also shared that I’m exhausted physically and mentally to have to go through it again. But I will do it because that’s the part I can control, not the outcome. She went silent and gently nodded.
Her Spanish class had an assignment of writing short description of each member of the family She wrote me as trabajadora. 🙂
On the way home from work I bought popsicles for the girls just because. A small treat during the week feels more special.
Workout: 8 miles outdoor run that left me more tired than usual after the run, not during, because air quality was bad and I ended up with a headache. 20 min upper body and core.
Listen: two of my favorite thinkers together. Love it!
Read: meditation for mortals, almost finishing it. I already want to re read it.
Our New Journey 
Just as you don’t like people to act like it was effortless when you compliment them on something, I didn’t like it when I was preparing for something really hard, like studying for the CFA, and people would say ‘oh of course you are going to pass.’ It made it seem like they didn’t appreciate or recognize how much work it takes to pass. I know it’s their way it showing confidence in me but I was kind of sensitive to those comments.
This is a good reminder to share our messy lives and applies to us hosting that other family on Sat. They are there to see us – not to be impressed by the food!
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I love this, and I love how you told your daughter that studying and being prepared was the part you could control, not the outcome. I am going to simmer on that thought, I think it’s really useful. I also take Lisa’s point about how people say that you will do great because you’re smart or whatever, and that’s not it sometimes. I remember my BFF telling me that when she was studying for the BAR exam, people would tell her she was going to ace it because she was smart, and she felt dismissed, because being smart isn’t the issue, it’s hard work and preparation. And with a job interview, it’s even more than that. You can be smart and have all of the skills they need and be completely prepared, and if the hiring manager is looking for something different than you, there is nothing you can do about that. Maybe they are looking for an introvert to round out their team, or an extrovert, or some other nebulous thing. One never knows. All we can do is our best, like you said.
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This is so great, Coco, that you are showing your daughters that you work hard and that is what you can control. It’s such a great lesson! I think it’s so important to show the struggle and work that goes into success. It doesn’t just happen!
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Fingers crossed the jib outing will go well. I agree with everyone and think you handled it beautifully explaining why you put so much effort in it.
Small treats on tough days and wonderful.
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I hope that the interview went well and am glad you are being realistic to your daughters about what effort is being put into things in order to get the output that you are looking for. I also think that it’s good for kids to know that failure happens, and as you say, you can control your preparation, but not the company’s choice in the end.
I agree with Lisa in that I get annoyed when people assume that things are easy for me, when in fact I put a ton of work into getting to where I am and more work into maintaining it. This has happened to me with work, but also in running, as in “you will do well because you always do well” but (a) I do NOT always do well and (b) if I do do well, it is because I have been training every day for months! It’s not like I just lay on the couch and then jump up and run a marathon!
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I love it when bloggers show their “messy selves” on their blogs! If we only showed the good things, I think people who read would get discouraged. Why is her life so perfect, when I’m having all these struggles? We ALL struggle, and it’s important to share it.
GOOD LUCK on this job search!
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