February recap

Favorite moments

• Picking up Lizzy from school. We sold our car and I’ve been going to pick her up almost every day. The walk back home is 10-15 min. Some days I bring a special snack for her, some days I show up few minutes early to watch her swim. It has been so nice to share those moments.
• Finishing the pantry. I don’t stock up on things much in general but we had some lentils, chickpea, pasta, flours to use up. I made sure to come up with yummy recipes to use them all. I hate wasting food.
• Selling our furnitures quickly. I would have paid someone to take them away but found a lady who sold them fairly quickly and got some cash to replace them at our new home.
• Feeling back normal self. The last 2.5 months travels took a toll on my body, reflected on my inner age by oura (down from -12.5 to 6.5 at the lowest point). It’s finally back up to -10.5, still not back to pre-travel madness period but consistently improving. I realize it’s not just sleep, the overall stress level also matters.
• Conversation with the girls. As they are getting older, we have so much more serious talk, especially with Sofia. She’s so eager to share what she’s working at school, social studies usually. The last topic she’s working on is over consumption, chosen by her among a list of topics including deforestation. It’s so interesting to hear how she thinks about things, what she learned and realized. The funny part of those conversations is the eagerness of Lizzy trying to participate and share her views too.
• Swim meet ups. The girls make me proud with their performances, but I am even happier with their strong will and commitment to improve. I also love seeing how they interact with other team members. The camaraderie, the joking moments, and the shared waiting time snack potluck. I am still amazed how much one can improve with practice, seriously, when I see them dive in, their earlier poor forms come to mind every time.
• Seeing moving related pieces fall into places FINALLY. Deciding on the date of the final move, finding a house, getting the girls to school, figure out shipment, transport Cookie, finding next job for our helper, sort out early termination of our rental, sort out visa situation in both countries, etc. There were many bumps, more than I expected. What helped was the mindset of being flexible, grateful for having options, embrace the change, and be okay with the “worst” option which is not bad anyway.
• Meeting new teams in Amazonas. It was an epic work trip, mingling with 40 like minded and passionate people about development for 5 days. It was a real luxury. I built new friendship, learn new nuances, stepped into a new territories (literally and figuratively), and came out feeling inspired and hopeful for the humanity.
• A conversation about parenting with a skeptic. I met an amazing young lady (32!) after two years not seeing her. She used to work in the same office, left because she felt stuck. Now she’s an entrepreneur with over 50 employees. Truly outstanding lady. I asked her about having kids as she recently got married. She wasn’t sure, which I fully understand as parenting is something you can’t imagine without being a parent. I told her that to me, parenting is a slow and beautiful process of losing control willingly. I didn’t realize this is my biggest change in my 40s until I articulated it to her.

Books: 2. It was a low month on reading due to either being jet lagged and exhausted or super busy solving problems.

Annie Bots: I really enjoyed it, more than I expected thanks to Sarah’s praise. It made me think about what makes us human, the complex relationship of human with robots, and how imperfection makes us human.

Brazil on the rise: this is a nonfiction about Brazil’s culture, history, politics, great introduction for me to learn about the country.

Movie/TV: more than usual as my mind was split and wanted passive consumption/entertainment.

Apple cider vinegar. Again per Sarah’s recommendation and I also inhaled it.

Zero Day. I finished the season in two seatings. So good.

Babygirl. I’m impressed by rawness of Nicole Kidman, sad for the main character and her husband and kids. So grateful to be happy with my marriage.

Running. 125 miles. 6 runs a week in average except the week I got sick. It’s hard for me to write this recap knowing what Sarah went through. I was in shock when I read it, I am still processing it. Post-knowing it, I couldn’t shake it off as it could happen to anyone including me. I know it’s rare but it is frightening to know that this is a possibility. I had to remind myself that I can’t stop living even there’s risk in everything we do. Running is my best friend in a way that no physical being can be. It’s always there to welcome me, calm my nerves, inspire me, and makes me feel alive. It’s the only activity that I get to the flow state, even spiritual sometimes, and euphoria 9 out of 10 times.

Strength: 11 session following the iron series. I must say I am start to like it and I notice I am getting stronger. I can carry Lizzy (65 lbs) for quite a while. The same sets of dumbbells feel lighter as I progressed.

Yoga: 6. I am loving those hour long sessions on my rest day. They feel luxurious in the same that I am not rushed, I can hold poses for longer, breath through them, mind calm. The strength training actually help with yoga, I can hold poses for longer and better form and not feeling failing.

In summary, February has been the month that I felt I was in a river, being carried away to new places (challenges, feelings, surprises), learning the art of losing control and see the beauty of it.