I’m in transit in Doha. During my 14 hrs. flight, I had time to digest the feelings that have been bubbling up lately that I couldn’t articulate. It’s the grieving process I feel on behalf of the girls. I don’t have much attachment to Jakarta, except the comfort of running in the same place, working out at our gym, the 10 min walk to the office, the supermarket that we go almost daily. Other than that, I don’t feel the loss of strong personal relationships like I did when I left Manila. Yet, I know girls have feelings this time around. They’ve both found their people, especially Sofia. It took her a year and a lot of effort to find the right group of girls that she feels comfortable to be with, after some girls’ drama in the first year. Lizzy also found her BFF, who happens to be one of my colleague’s daughter.
Last Sunday was Sofia’s farewell party with her group of friends. She is behind with recording her piano exam but I encouraged her to soak it up and have fun. The party extended to a sleepover with her closest friend until 24 hrs later. When she called me after it ended, I could tell she was sad, really sad for leaving this group of friends, and knowing she has to start again. I could feel or imagine her internal conflict, wanting to explore a new continent, Brasilia, new way of life, while feeling sad and worried about finding new friends. As a mother, it hurts when knowing your kid is going through those emotions that I can’t help with other than show understanding and support. I really want to hug her, to be there with her, yet I know this is a process of growing, maturing. She’s more fortunate than me to have those emotions, I didn’t value friendship until later on in life.
I told both girls that friendship are important, and I will support them to meet up with their friends if they really want to, even it means traveling to another country to meet their friends. If they are lucky, they’ll have friends all over the world.
I am grateful that my mom is with them while I am away, here are the pics of them enjoying the jakarta night light, for the last few nights.
Shipment packing has started and the first day went smoothly. When I arrive Jakarta, we will move to an airbnb which happens to be in our building. The next day, I’ll organize Lizzy’s farewell party with her friends, and send husband and Cookie to the airport. Finger crossed he can board with Cookie this time, and me, the girls and my mom will follow the next day.
Our New Journey 
What a big transition for your girls and it gets harder and harder to make friendships in teen years, so I can see why they’re nervous. They seem to be VERY good at it, though, and I’m sure they will find “their people” again.
It reminds me a bit of how I feel about my husband travelling a lot for work. There are positives (inexpensive flights, he works from home flexibly when he’s in the country) and there are negatives (he’s gone a lot, he misses things, there are frequent hellos/goodbyes). I’ve learned that EVERY child has positives and negatives about parental decisions. Your girls are getting to see the world, have an amazing strong female role model in their mother, and are going to be incredible at travelling and engaging in other cultures.
Sending hugs for as smooth a transition as possible. ❤
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It’s a big transition for sure. I hope your girls do end up with friends all over the world, but in the meantime, it will be sad for them to leave their friends.
It was tough for a while for my younger son when we moved here. He had a big cohort of friends in Calgary, and then we moved here and it was hard for him. He’s doing well now, but that transition phase is tricky.
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It’s such a big transition but you are giving the girls great memories, too. Yes, separation is very hard, but so is life. They will make new friends, and could keep in touch with old ones by FaceTime etc – it’s a good life lesson for the girls, how to maintain and nurture friendships from far away. Wishing you the best!
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