Discipline always?

I think discipline is power, it’s freedom one buys for the future, yet one needs to choose what to discipline about. This idea came more clear in recent years when I shifted to pursue more what I want and need and let other things to slide as they are not as important. I used to get frustrated when I can’t keep up a plan or stick to one thing after I set mind to it, and now I start to wonder why I can’t stick to it. I find either because the environment is not enjoyable to make it sustainable, or that I didn’t truly needed/wanted. Examples of things I’ve started and abandoned:

• 5 years book. I like the idea of recording our daily life and be able to look back later. The truth is I felt a drag to write it and almost never look at past entries so I stopped.
• Tracking habits. I did it for a while then keep forgetting and stopped. I realized I didn’t need to track things I enjoy doing and those that I couldn’t do were because they didn’t matter to me as much.
• Painting. I like the idea of painting with the girls on a weekend afternoon. I bought all the supplies. We did it once. I am just not artistic. I don’t want to force a hobbie that I don’t genuine enjoy. It’s a hobbie at the end.
• Morning pages. I did that for a month and enjoyed it. Yet, it’s not sustainable as I need to get out for my run 5-6 days of the week thus I feel rushed if I want to write morning pages. Again, it’s for posteri that never comes? or is it to process my thoughts? if it’s later, I do it while running.
• Closing the day with few lines. I like the idea of writing down what went well of my day. The reality is that by 7:30 pm my brain is not functioning and I don’t want to make it work when it’s clearly ready for bed.
• More hosting at home. I used to enjoy it more but now it conflicts with my other weekend priorities like open space, nap in bed and reading. So I host less.
• Date nights. It’s a common practice in many cultures, it’s just not ours (our family). Husband and I find our own time doing things spontaneously, and catch up during car rides. The idea stopped being our ideal.

I am sure there are other things that I intended/tried and abandoned. As I got older, I feel less guilty for not sticky to something.

To get to what really matters, we need to try more and abandon fiercely.