Accepting the feelings -last day in Manila

We arrived Jakarta!!! This post was written the day before our departure, Sunday.

Last day in Manila. Last night in Manila. I try to summarize my thoughts and feeling, and I can only find one word: sad. I like to structure my thoughts into a coherent storyline but I can’t this time. So I’ll just share fragments of it.

“This is coming too fast.” Sofia

“But we knew it for months”. Me

“Yes, but it still feels too soon” Sofia

“I know. I am sad too” Me

“I want to cry” Sofia

“Cry” Me

“You know that your friends might be more sad than you. Their life will be the same routine just minus you, their good friend. But you will start a new adventure, meet new friends. So compared to them, we are better off. So let’s take care of their feelings above ours.” Me. This is what I am trying to think for my teams.

“What if we don’t like Jakarta as much as manila?” Me asking husband when we were walking after our last massage.

“You still need to live there. We are already living in one of the best condo in Jakarta. Not much else we can do to make it better at this point”. Husband, always succinct and right in bigger issues.

“True. So let’s focus on the positive sides of the new adventure. Please remind me to look at the good sides of Jakarta”. Me

Once all the moving related stress is gone. I got time to process my feelings better. I’m focusing on: letting the feelings out (not pushing them away), allowing myself to be sad, acknowledging girls feeling of loss, being there and talk to them more, letting my people know how hard this is for me too, and being grateful for all this actually.

Sunday 6am, my closest team which is man texted me about how his heart is aching and about to 😢. We exchanged texts for a while letting our non-professional feelings out, and comfort each other for the loss. Our friendship is one of the treasure from Manila, and our motivation to work hard to be reunited as a team.