Day 115: guiding my thoughts

Our moving/relocation situation is still unclear and I find my mind confused what I want or what I think it’s the best for our family. Some times I think about the possibility of living in Shanghai, which is hometown for me and husband, where we met close to 30 years ago, where all our family lives. The idea of spending six months to a year close to our family, especially for the girls to get to know our extended families better, to live like a Shanghainese is so exciting! Given my job I don’t think we’ll ever have another opportunity to do that, unless I quit which highly unlikely. In those times, I want to move and I want confirmation ASAP so I start planning for it. Other times the thought of move (get the visa, pack our things for storage, ship some more, go through 14 days quarantine in a hotel room with the whole family, find a place to live in shanghai, etc), and potentially having to come back six months later, this whole process tires me. Also, I do worry whether this might impact my job, or my effectiveness to do my job the way I am doing now. In those times, I think maybe we just stay and find a tutor for the girls to guide them with distance learning, which frees me from constantly being disrupted during work, until school back to face-to-face. But then the rising cases in the country is really worrying me, whether things will get back to normal anytime soon, or what is going to happen to EVERYTHING.

So I found my mind shifting one day to the other, and mostly because I try to convince myself that either way is fine and prevent me to be disappointed by any outcome.

The book that I am reading is really helpful. Basically it made me realise I can tell my thoughts what to think to my advantage. Instead of focusing the negative side of not getting either solution, I guide my thoughts to think about the positive side of either decision, then whatever the final outcome is, I will be happy to embrace it. Knowing that also frees me from anxiety when future is uncertain. I know that whatever we do, we will be fine, more than fine 🙂

Our current decision is if we can move as a family, then we move. First step is to confirm whether husband can work remotely (which is taking some time), then I’ll seek authorisations to start the process. Meanwhile, we enjoy our pool, our helper that keeps our place clean and tidy, my filipino friends, and my current quarantine routine.

2 thoughts on “Day 115: guiding my thoughts

  1. Such a big decision! I do think you have the benefit that your girls are quite young. In that situation I’m not sure I would go through the hassle of moving and uprooting them if you think you would only stay 6 months. Maybe the tutor option where you are might be easier?? But it also sounds like maybe you would enjoy being close to home for a while, so that’s a consideration as well. In that case, maybe it would be worth going for it, if it’s unlikely your girls would ever get to spend that much time with family again in the future! That might be more worthwhile than the schooling part, even. Moving sounds so stressful though, so I’m not sure I would personally want to deal with all of that on top of the whole pandemic thing!!! Best of luck Coco! You’ll make the right choice. Trust yourself!

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  2. You’re in my thoughts, Coco. This must be such a challenging decision. I personally would struggle with moving with the knowledge that it would be for only 6 months. I think if it was for a year or maybe longer, I might consider it but what I think really doesn’t matter. In the end the decision you make will be the best and I know you’ll have thought it through and done what is best for your family! 🙂

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