Monday was an odd day. I had my blood test (8 tubes) at 8am, fasted. Then had to stopped eating by 930am to get back to lab for ultrasound at 2pm. I was so hungry by 1pm. Sigh….. then after finishing lunch at 2:50pm, I got a coffee at a local coffee shop which was the best coffee I’ve had so far in Brasilia before picking up Lizzy from school.
Well…. that coffee killed my quality sleep last night. First, I wasn’t sleepy by the time I got to bed at my usual time. Then I woke up 2:30am and couldn’t go back to sleep.
Lesson learned. Never have coffee after 12pm. Well.. at least I learned a lesson. Not the end of the world to spare one night of sleep to finally learn it.
It’s less than 3 weeks before school ends. I can feel summer approaching. So excited. The most exciting part to me, which I told Lizzy, is to have 3 weeks solo trip with her. She’s the funniest and cutest person around.
Last night after she got back from swimming, while she had dinner, she told me stories in a high spirit. Then she asked me: do you think I’m pretty?
Me: yes, you are pretty and cute. why?
Lizzy: because today a teacher from another class told me I am pretty.
Me: yes, why are you surprised?
Lizzy: well… I think shoulder up I’m pretty, shoulder down, not so much, then show me her belly (which is so cute).
I hesitated before knowing what to answer.
Me: well… body needs to be strong, functional, not pretty. Look how strong you are, my little swimmer.
…….
She is 10 and started to be conscious of her appearance. It is even more important moment to learn that our body carries us daily, allows us to perform, to do daily tasks, we need to take care of it because of that, not because it would/need to look a certain way.
I wish I learned the lesson earlier. I think if I had been into sport, it would have helped. Hopefully that is the case with my girls.
Ah, good answer, Coco! Lizzy is learning from you that bodies need to be strong and function well to do all the things we want to do.
It’s good that she has swimming to teach her this lesson too. Her body needs to be more than a decorative “model” body, it needs to be useful and strong to get those swimming medals!
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Swimming is such a great sport for health and fitness. Body image is very tough: to model as an adult and to endure as a tween/teen.
If I have caffeine after 12 pm, it has a horrible impact on my sleep. Argh! I find that so frustrating.
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Woooooof, girls get such bad messages from society. Luckily your girls have you – yes to strong and functional! Yikes, they get hit with messages at such a young age.
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It’s so sad how early girls can have problems with body image. I was a really skinny kid but still had body image issues. I thought I should be on a diet in elementary school – prob because my mom always seemed to be on a diet. I am really trying to prevent my boys from having body image issues. I know they are less susceptible, but they can still have body issue issues. Good response to focus on the importance of a strong body!
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UGH, I hate this part. Our society is SO HARD on girls. My daughter had an eating disorder in middle school (has? I think it’s remission, not cure), and she tells me she wishes someone had told her that we often gain weight around puberty, and it’s not forever. I do not know that Lizzy has gained any weight, or how to give that information without triggering anything, but thought I would share what my daughter told me.
Lizzy is beautiful and very fit. Pay attention if she does not like a bathing suit – my daughter told me that one of her suits made her feel fat, and I said, (to myself) bye bye money, and threw it away.
I wish my experience with my daughter gave me good answers for you. It does not. This shit is hard and difficult. Much harder on girls than boys, but as Lisa said, it’s getting worse for boys too.
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Thanks for sharing Julia this. It’s hard for girls nowadays and I’m trying to fight it without making it more than it deserves. Thanks for sharing your experience and warning signs to pay attention to.
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Oh, Lizzy. It’s so hard. Your answer was great, and it’s great that she’s into sports- I think it definitely helps. By the way- I know I’ve been complaining about my stomach on the blog lately, but I’ve never once said anything critical about my body in front of either of my kids. My mom was always complaining about her weight, which was totally normal at that time. But if anything comes up about my body I always say something about how I’m trying to get stronger, or feel better or be healthier. Unfortunately now now the messages are coming at them from social media, and my daughter is still hyper critical of her body. I don’t know how to fight it anymore.
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You’re definitely a good role model to your daughters, teaching them about strong and capable bodies and not just aesthetics!
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