Living your values

This is my mom, living her retirement life to the fullest. Traveling often, meeting with friends weekly, walk hours daily. She is the wisest woman I know.

I am having daily awakening moments while reading few pages of this book. I am learning that success means different things to different people. One question that Tim Ferriss often asks his guests is: who does it come to your mind when you think about success? My favorite answer was: it depends what the person wanted to achieve in life. If someone wants to be a doctor, making millions as a stock trader doesn’t make him/her successful.

So true!

It made me wonder how would I define success for me or my girls?

For me, that is to make a better world, help and inspire others, living with my values. Note that among these, being famous or rich are not part of the goal. If anything, they could be by product of the process.

Another concept that I learned and reflected a lot is: living your values.

If I want to be a thoughtful mom, then I need to listen, focus when my girls talk to me.

If I want to inspire others, I need to lead by example, not by preaching.

If I value relationships, I need to cultivate and protect at all costs, spend time with my loved ones and friends, and let go of things.

If I want to work on meaningful things, I need to say no 99% of the time to safeguard space for the 1%.

the list goes on. the point is reading that chapter triggered me to re-evaluate what I do against my values. If they are not contributing or consistent with my values, then I need to stop or change.

Example:

I was checking with one of my team member to see how’s she doing. Given that we don’t meet face-to-face any more for casual check-in, I have been purposely reaching out to them not on work deadlines but on how they are coping with work and the pandemic. She’s doing ok, getting more tasks than before, excited. But knowing her, I know that she might be doing too much and wouldn’t ask for help. Also, i know she’s being trying to conceive for the last two years. So i reminded her that stress is not conducive for that goal, which is her priority #1 at the moment, work should come after that goal. I also shared my personal experience of trying to get pregnant during my first year of starting this job. She thanked me to remind her that. 🙂

I felt great after our talk because that is consistent with my values, valuing relationships more than work.