Break through

I had a break through yesterday morning during my golf hour with Sofia. I finally found my hip! YEY!!! I’ve heard so many times from coach and hubby that I need to let my hip to lead the turn instead of my upper body. Well, easier said than done. But somehow magically I felt it and I finally was hitting straight!!! I was in euphoria the whole morning, super pumped about my progress! That’s part of joy of mastering something. I realised that golfing requires focus, I could see my thoughts coming and then I lose focus. I need to mindfully remove those thoughts and focus again on what I need to do next. It’s EXACTLY like meditation, or better said, the purpose of meditation. Meditation is not about removing all thoughts but to observe and control when/how thoughts come and go. The practice of meditation is to learn to control our thoughts and notice when we lose focus. This is very unlike running, whose purpose is to let thoughts free, wander however wherever they want, connecting dots of different events/ideas into answers that I was looking. AHA moment!!!

It was great to start the day with this AHA moment, I was super energised in getting back to work. Then took a walk alone before dinner, and another one with Sofia alone. Evenings with breeze are ending soon for the heated summer so we are taking advantage of it for now. When I came back, I finished this book while Sofia practiced piano and Lizzy made art for me. It is a hard but quick read, I finished it in two nights. I have mixed feeling about it as my experience of grieving was different. Yet, I was saddened by what happened to her daughter. It made me ask myself, who’s I most afraid to lose in this world?

This morning I did something that I know I shouldn’t but did anyway. I checked my email within 5 min I woke up. Bad idea because now my mind is occupied with an issue that I need to resolve later. Why did I do it? I was curious to know if someone important had sent something. Did I have to do that before 5am? Definitely not. While I am better at not using my phone for social media, email checking is slowly coming back during non-work hours. So, starting today, I’ll re-instate the rule goal of no email checking past 6pm and leave the phone out of the bedroom. Bad habits are hard to kick it off but so easy to have them back if one is not careful. Better extinct it at early stage.