Things in my mind

My dry eyes got worse in the last week, to the extend that I feel the need to constantly put eye drops. I still don’t know what triggered it, probably happened after I got “sick” last Saturday. Can they be related? I don’t know. I went to an eye doctor yesterday to find some solution other than put more drops. The good thing is that it is confirmed that I have a severe case of dry eyes. The bad thing is that it’s kind of genetic (according to all the doctors I’ve seen) so it will stay with me. I can only manage the symptoms. It’s probably due to over 20 years of contact lens wearing with high grade. Sigh…. The bad thing is that I need to start with treatment, for two months, and hope it works. Meanwhile just keep putting drops. I am not kind of person that just take the doctor prescription as order/final, so I will see another doctor, including a Chinese medicine doctor today so find more “natural” solution, and do more research my own.

I had more meetings with my boss and common theme is that people want to stay in power… ha surprise. Especially people who is already comfortable with money, they crave power and influence. It’s hard for people to move to the next thing when you are so comfortable at your current spot. Suddenly, I realized that it might be happening to me too. I am so comfortable in Manila work wise, I am procrastinating my move to Jakarta, with the excuse that I am still very busy with the Philippine program. Sigh…. time to move on and stop making excuses and hoping for a miracle.

Appreciate complexity. I used to be rather black and white in many issues, especially at work based on what I learned and read. Now I think most of the complex issues are in the gray zone. There are not right or wrong solutions, as it depends on the perspective. It makes me appreciate more other people’s view. Instead of dismiss them when they don’t agree with my view, I am learning to really listen and understand, and revise/update my own as needed. It is not easy but it is needed in this complex world.

Mother’s Day celebration. Honestly, a day alone that I only need to take care of myself would be good. Obviously… that’s not feasible. But I’d expect many mothers with small kids would agree. out or 365 days that we constantly need to take care of others to avoid things falling apart, we could use one day “vacation” from it. 😀

I need to decide to travel or not. We have a work retreat coming at Siem Reap. The trip would take 5-6 days including travel time. Pre-pandemic I’d be excited to go as I often travel for work. Now… I am nervous leaving the girls at home. I know they will be taken care, but still… I am nervous. On the other hand, some time alone would be good, it always makes me appreciate time home more after business trip.

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