I am glad that I didn’t go to Jakarta so I had time to process the grieving process. This weekend was a lot of LASTS… every time I see someone, do something, go somewhere I can feel the weight of it because it would be the last time that I do that. At first, I felt bad of feeling sad (the fact that I am grieving) but then I realized that is part of the process, a sign that I had good time here in Manila, it has been meaningful 5 years. I also tried to force myself to look forward, to see how fun we will have in Indonesia. Yet, again, that’s masking the real feelings I have at the moment, so don’t.
As I process those feelings, I hugged my husband and told him about how I felt. He acknowledged it and said it is normal. I asked him how he felt… he said a bit better than you. That’s all I had to know. I hugged my family more than usual this weekend because we will be there for each other in the new life.
Girls had a lot of fun this weekend, spending quality time with their friends.
Sofia is fortunate to have Cookie with us in Jakarta, her forever BFF
I accompanied Sofia to our old building, at one friend’s place to practice piano. It made me miss my old home being in the same building.
Saturday night, both girls had sleepovers at their friends’. Husband was at the gym during dinner time so I had dinner alone, lonely.
Sunday. I had a solid 9 hours of sleep, first time since I got back from Germany. Yet, I felt tired, like my body is catching up with the marathon, and is silently grieving. I took the day very slow. Sofia continued her playdate until time to attend a birthday party. It was a cooking party, she made risotto, tiramisu, and had her face painted.
Lizzy came back from her sleepover hungry and tired. I fed her second breakfast and she took 3 hours nap until it was time for soccer.
After girls’ soccer, we went to a friend’s place for dinner, last dinner with their family.
5 days to go!