I had this conversation with the girls a while ago and it keeps coming back to my mind.
We were talking about the single mother with 3 kids from the swimming team. We weren’t sure if she’s divorced or the husband passed away. In this context, I said: that’s why it is important that women have financial independence, so we don’t need to stick to a bad marriage afraid of losing our kids.
Silence on the back seat. Then:
Sofia: but that is not how the world works.
……..
few minutes later
Sofia: most of my friends’ mom are not working. So I guess they don’t have the freedom to leave.
BAM…..
I was surprised by her observation although it is true that 9/10 of my colleagues here are male, and the only women that are here are alone (single or that the husband didn’t follow them).
We talk about gender balance so much these days, but gender balance will never real if there is no financial independence.
Being the mother of two girls, I hope they see the value of it and seek it when they grow up.
Other tangent from Tuesday:
I mentioned I slept poorly but actually I had a great day with minimal tiredness thanks to a good speed workout, new music playlist (who am I to like rap?), finishing last call at home with Bubble while simmering pasta sauce for the girls.
Our New Journey 
That is a tricky topic because some women really would prefer to be a SAHM/not work. That was never my desire since I am just not cut out for that kind of life. I think both partners need to be aware of the finances because you never know what might happen. I do think it’s far more common for couples to be dual-income when they have children because of how expensive it is to raise kids these days/the rising costs of services/goods. In my family, 2 out of 5 wives stopped working when they had kids. 1 is back at work, and I think my younger sister would like to go back to work but it’s not possible/practical with her husband’s military job. But she has a great skillset to fall back on if something happened and she needed to work (she’s a nurse).
LikeLike
I think of my grandma. She got married at 18, a couple of weeks before she graduated from High School. Her husband died of tetanus about 7 years later, and it devastated the family. There was no life insurance (they had cancelled it because they were both young and it was expensive, and they needed the money to pay for a surgery my grandfather had), and she had to pay for his burial, etc. She relinquished custody of her kids for a bit, my mom to a convent, and my uncle to a foster home. That was so she could work. When she remarried, she got her kids back first thing, but UGH, how horrible. I’ve always wondered why she didn’t go live with her parents, but no one is alive who would know the answer to that.
ANYWAY, that’s an extreme example, but to me it has made me feel strongly that women need education, skills, and legal rights, whether they decide to work outside of the home or not. One might choose to stay at home with the kids, and something can happen to upend that. All too often the death of a spouse, or divorce, can mean destitution.
LikeLike
I keep asking, where do some women find their guys? I’ve three women friends , one a single mom with an older daughter, but their ex husbands were assholes…and still are? and we’re talking successful smart women….two have them have great husbands now, but lots of waterworks when they talk about their ex’s….and yes I know a lot of dumb guys too..great marriages and decided to fool around, and surprised got caught!!..why?
LikeLike
I think there are some couple who can make the SAHM model work, but I agree it’s a dangerous place for a woman to be. You never, ever know what could happen- death or divorce, and you also don’t want to be stuck in an unhappy marriage for financial reasons. I always tell my daughter- EARN YOUR OWN MONEY. I’m pretty sure I don’t have to worry about her, because I don’t think she’s cut out to be a SAHM. I think she would much rather work and have a nanny!
LikeLike