After a frustrated run on Saturday, we made Sunday a great one. I did 4 miles first and then jogged with Sofia for 3 miles. I slowed down but not too much. A couple on the street saw us passing and asked me if she’s my daughter. They said: she’s so strong!!! A proud moment for me definitely. She is strong, resilient, brave, creative, caring, adventurous, curious, and more.
The last few weeks, i noticed her favourite dresses are getting short, when she stands behind Lizzy or hubby, she looks like a big girl, closer to teenager than kids. She still loves to snuggle with me, but she’s getting more independent and physically like a big person. How did that happen??? I don’t know if others that have more than one kids feel the same, once the second kid arrives, the years of growth of the first born gets blurred. Like, i can’t remember her chubby face at the Lizzy’s current age. Was she as funny as Lizzy now? I don’t remember. Then what do I remember of her at 4.5 years old? Fortunately I was blogging those years, so I have a digital journal of our days. But it surprised me how easy I forget, although she’s the person I love the most in this world. Moral of the story, I need to pause, write down, and revisit more often, these are the memories I want to keep forever as they make me the happiest and proudest. ok… I’m weeping already… switch topic.
We spent 1.5 hrs chatting with grandma, my new year goal of talking to mom every week is going strong! The girls also love to see grandma, most days they’d FaceTime with her few minutes after dinner because they don’t want grandma to feel lonely. The bound between grandma and the girls remains strong although we haven’t seen grandma in person for over a year.
I spent most of my day reading this memoire while the girls played balloon with a racket, had quiet time in their rooms that turned into a silent play date in one room with Lizzy ended up with 5 underwear on her. Sofia had piano theory lesson a bit later and Lizzy finally took a nap. I continued with my book, so entertaining and enlightening. I know nothing about chef, restaurants, mental health, asian-americas kids, so I find this memoire fascinating. I’m not sure David Chang wrote it all by himself as the writing is super good.
Once Sofia finished her class, she did her first baking project. She wrote down the ingredient list which I helped to assembled in one place, and then followed the steps one by one. The final product (banana muffin) was perfect! She took pics of them to share with the class. We all enjoyed a muffin, which was indeed good. While I was eating it, I kept asking, really? she’s already in the age she can do baking all by herself? how did I miss the process? Given how much cooking/baking I do, I’m sure she’d be an avid cooker/baker going forward now that she knows she can do it.
In those moments of joy as a parent, the idea of friends who decided not to have kids or can’t have kids come to me. I feel sorry for them and have the urge to help, but I don’t know how because this joy cannot be imagined until one does it. It’s like the runner’s high, it’s impossible to describe to a non-runner what it feels like. The only way for someone to fully understand it is to experiment it by themselves. Parenting is the same, it’s challenging, has good days and bad days, but the ultimate reward is immense. Here’s a great essay about having kids. I especially like when he said ” To some extent I’m like a religious cultist telling you that you’ll be happy if you join the cult too — but only because joining the cult will alter your mind in a way that will make you happy to be a cult member.”