Sofia told me that she was playing with girl A who is super nice. Then another girl B that used to play with Sofia came. B asked Sofia to play with her but without A. Sofia asked if A can stay and B said no. Sofia then declined the invite and continued to play with A. After she shared the story she said she felt good about it. “Right, because you stayed with your friend and didn’t let B bossy you two”. She smiled. She’ll soon become a teenager and it’s great that she’s reflecting on her interactions with others, and learn what to do under different circumstances. And what I love even more is that she shared it with me so I can get to know what she’s going through.
Story 2: understand the underlying message.
Hubby and I went to fairway for 9 holes with my instructor. After few holes done, hubby came and kind of “yelled” at me for walking ahead of him, like I’m in a rush, and that’s not different than plying alone. First I was surprised that he was mad, then I thought it was cute because the underlying message was that he wants to play with me close by. 🙂 so instead of responding as I didn’t realize or that he didn’t need to yell at me, I quietly stayed behind and watched him play each time and provided comments. He seemed happy at the end. Moral of the story, before being defensive, think about what the other person is really trying to tell me, even though not in the most pleasant way.