Conflict resolution style

I used to be the one who likes to win the argument using logical reasoning. I would enter a debate with whoever laying out my facts and logic. Often time no matter whether I can convince or not the other person, I lose the war even I win the battle. This is especially harmful in close relationships. Professionally it often leads to resentment because it’s perceived as power battle.

Over the years I’ve been trying to convince myself that I don’t need to be right all the time, in fact I’m likely not right many times. But in the middle of the heat it’s hard to change behavior and both parties end up frustrated.

Yesterday I experienced two conflict resolutions that I’d classify as more mature. At the personal level, although I know my reasons I also understood the other persons thinking, so I apologize. At professionally level, I witness my team entering a conflict with another team and I fully understand their reasoning, so I served as the third party to propose the middle ground. Both conflict resolutions led to the main Objective: preserve the good relationship above the issue. My mentor said once that we are in the people’s business, relationship is more important than technical discussions. He’s absolutely right. Without trust, there’s no way we can be effective in what we do which is ultimately influence others actions. I’m finally at the point to apply it in my personal life. It feels good to say sorry and be sincere about it.

Other updates. Sofia was thrilled 2 hrs at school. Lizzy is going this Thursday for 4 hrs! Yay!

Face shield is finally not required in the Philippines. We are probably the only country in the world that uses it.

I’m planning for husband birthday celebration. One dinner reservation made for the couple and one more to go for the whole family.

Thinking about going to the beach again. I know… but I feel like our time in the best beaches in the world is limited so I need to get as much as I can. 🙂

2 thoughts on “Conflict resolution style

  1. Conflict resolution is a very interesting topic! It seems like it must be human nature to automatically want to defend ourself/ our choice/ our viewpoint if someone challenges it. It is definitely difficult to pause and think, wait- maybe I AM wrong on this one. I think I have gotten better and better at this over the years as I’ve gotten older, although it is so definitely a work in progress, of course. Looking at being “wrong” as an opportunity to learn and grow and expand your previous viewpoint helps too. But I know it can be sooooo frustrating in times when you really, truly feel you ARE right, and the other person IS wrong…hahahaha.

    yay for school and birthday celebrations! That’s nice about the face shields going away, too. I hadn’t realized they were required- I had assumed that was just your family’s preference or something! lol!


  2. I didn’t realize you had to wear face shields, either. They are VERY uncommon here in Canada.

    I’m so happy for the girls (and you) about the school situation. This is such positive news and I’m so glad Sofia had a good time!


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